Meditating with Children
It is never too early to start meditating with children, doing yoga and movement with kids, and integrating some sort of mindfulness practice with your children at home or in school. Increasingly, the overwhelming benefits of a regular mindfulness practice with kids of any age— in terms of helping kids organize their feelings, find some peace of mind and sense of security, focus on difficult, challenging tasks, and open their hearts to others and be gentle with themselves—are being recognized and acknowledged by some. Most schools don’t have an organized mindfulness practice as a part of their curriculum but that it is changing. Organizations like mindful schools, https://www.mindfulschools.org/, are building a movement to make mindfulness practice an essential part of the curriculum and culture of the school of the future and of the present.
The purpose of this essay is not to make the argument for why meditation is a good thing for children and everybody. I already know it is, and other people are in a better position to do that work and make a place for mindfulness practice in all of our schools. Rather, I want to encourage individuals, teachers and administrators to pick up the torch of enlightenment and plant the seeds for an ongoing mindfulness practice in their classrooms, schools, families and communities. Start where you are, with you, in the present moment with all of its difficulties and possibilities, and stick with it, consolidating and building upon things that work and discarding things that don’t fit your situation.
I came across meditation in my own life in trying to deal with very difficult issues of loss, fear, feeling stuck and overwhelmed, suffering and confusion. I started with a five minute meditation, read stuff about meditation, got the insight mediation app that has thousands of guided meditations around specific issues, took classes, regularly attend sessions where I meditate with others, and built up a regular, everyday practice that has proved to be life changing for me in more ways than one. If there is one thing I want to emphasize it is to be gentle with yourself but sit regularly. You don’t have to worry about whether you are doing it right, just learn as you go. In some ways it is as simple as learning how to take a breath. Or like my Mom used to say, take it easy, but take it!
In my work with children 5-8 years old, I emphasize outdoor education, fun and excitement, dancing, storytelling, laughter, joy and adventure, but I needed to find ways to help kids relax their bodies, focus their minds and think about others with a kind, open and gentle heart. So we started a meditation practice over three years ago, and we have stuck with it ( that is significant because it means that kids who have come in as kindergarteners end up meditating with me for three years). The kids sometimes balk and probably misinterpret my intentions ( “this is just another teacher that wants me to be quiet and sit still”). I am constantly making adjustments and it always seem that the kids who have the most difficulty meditating are the ones who would benefit the most from it. But overall it is something we can always come back too, a peaceful place in the midst of the tears and the laughter, the excitement, enthusiasm and anxiety.
We start short, 2 minutes or so, and then sometimes stretch out to 5 minutes. I use very simple instructions about posture ( sit up straight but relax your shoulders). I then ask them to relax their body and suggest that they gently ask any part of their body that is moving or tense to be still. Then with your relaxed body focus your mind on your breath, maybe where it enters your noise or fills up your chest. And then with your relaxed body and focused mind open your heart to everyone in the room ( at the beginning, this instruction always spurs some of the kids to mimic opening their chests with their hands to the laughter of everyone present. When we are finished we say a traditional ( Buddhist) dedication of merit that I think is properly secular humanist in its iteration: “We dedicate the merits of this mediation to the benefit of others. May it help us be generous, compassionate, gentle and kind. May all beings be safe. May all beings be happy. May all beings be healthy. May all beings be safe. May all beings find their true nature. And may all beings be free ( the children have changed that to “may all beings be free to go outside.”) We periodically unpack individually and as a group what these words might mean and what we are trying to do with meditation.
As we move through the year children inevitably tell me to not talk so much during meditation since they are trying to meditate (ouch!). I sometimes lose it and find myself growling at the students to “RELAX.” We try different things, different meditations: walking meditation; an elements meditation, with water, earth, fire and air; eating meditation; something to focus on ( flowers, a jar of water with glitter in it) ; loving kindness meditation; eyes open, eyes closed; talking more, talking less; meditating outside; senses meditation; visualization meditation, etc. Through it all, I return to the beauty of each child ( “fresh like a flower” as Thich That Hanh likes to say), the truth, clarity and completeness of each breath, each present moment, and the strength and love of the community of our classroom.
At the school where I work we introduced a short meditation before our staff meetings, and the school administration supported our development as teachers by bringing in a great local team of meditation/yoga instructors from 108 Monkeys ( http://108monkeys.org/). I love learning from other teachers what they do and how they organize their meditations. One class uses graduated sand timers to help the children develop their stamina and patience with meditation. Another class focuses more on yoga and movement. Start where you and gradually build up a mindfulness practice that makes sense for you and your kids.
Some helpful resources for meditating with children are:
A Handful of Quiet: Happiness in Four Pebbles, Thich Nhat Hanh
Sitting Still Like a Frog: Mindfulness Exercises for Kids (and their parents), Eline Sneal, Forward by Jon Kabat-Zinn
Breathe Like a Bear: 30 Mindful Moments for Kids to Feel Calm and Focused Anytime Anywhere, Kira Wiley
Master of Mindfulness: How to be Your Own Superhero in Times of Stress, Laurie Grossman
What Does It Mean to Be Present, Rana DiOrio
Good Morning Yoga: A Pose-by-Pose Wake Up Story, Mariam Gates
You Are a Lion! and Other Fun Yoga Poses, Taeeun Yoo
https://www.teachchildrenmeditation.com/
https://www.headspace.com/
